Morning comes...i am paralyzed in pain.
I ask for help.
The energy is shifting, but it has not yet been released.
I am laying on a table, in the round room.
Surrounded by guides, and a mirror image of self I stare deeply into my own eyes, into my own soul.
Everyone forms a close circle around me, and they sway and dance to the sounds and rhythms of nature.
We are soon joined by every grandmother, every mother and every daughter who has experienced an earthly existence.
I gaze up into my own eyes as I lay flat on the table.
I feel all of them.
They are my DNA.
My back arches and my mouth opens.
I let out a wail. Oh how I wail.
All of the hurt, the shame, the worthlessness the persecution and the anxiety from generations and lifetimes passed is released in the form of their spirits.
My eyes change to spectacular blues and greens of our planet.
They are the earth.
I am her. She is me.
First sorrow and heartbreak.
Then my hatred and vengeance begins to grow.
My eyes, they become blackened and dark as the earth begins to expand within my womb.
The tears, the wailing.
I feel them.
All of them.
The wounds raw and deep.
The darkness begins to ooze out through my lungs like tar.
I see them, I feel all of them,
I forgive and I release them from their burdens.
It is done.
The earth continues to grow.
The watchers, still swaying to the chanting to, the heartbeats.
My womb expands still.
My wrath grows.
Oh how is grows.
My heart is screaming.
It folds in on itself, like it’s trying to burst.
One last wail causes the earth to finally rupture within my womb.
It is gone.
Everyone is covered in pieces of flesh.
It is of the old world.
Of the endless battle with our own darkness.
For a time, there is silence.
There is knowing of peace.
Her eyes, my eyes, they change.
No longer dark.
They sparkle under the starlight, in a new light.
She has forgiven.
We are all forgiven.
The energy builds once more, and there is an urge.
A maternal pull to try again.
This time, to create something from a place of everlasting love.
There is love in my heart.
I focus energy and intention into my womb.
This time, the earth, it grows with love as it’s foundations.
My womb, it expands and we listen to the chanting once more.
Connecting to the universal heartbeat.
It is me, it is she, it is all of us, growing inside me.
There is hope. Just as there is love.
And so it continues to grow...