Who am I? Me! Where am I? Here! When is it? Now!
This is an affirmation that was offered by a dear friend, during a time of anxiety and overwhelm. I find it to be a very useful mind exercise in my ‘toolbox’ of coping mechanisms that I still use frequently.
Today, even just for a fleeting moment in the intricately woven tapestry of this journey, I longed to fit in.
To be accepted.
To be understood and just be, without fear or judgement.
As each layer of my being is acknowledged, awakened, healed and released back into the universe for transmutation, there is that habitual cry from my consciousness; “Wait! Let’s go back! It is easier to blend in over there. Pretend we haven’t shifted. Refuse to make changes. Wait..!”
Of course, once one makes the choice to push through the next layer of healing, one cannot unlearn what has been experienced and seen.
And so, for a few days, my overwhelmed consciousness, sits in the corner and sulks, while it waits for the dust to settle, the fog to clear and the light to shine through once again.
My senses become heightened.
I feel aware and in sync with nature’s cycles more than ever.
I feel everyone and everything.
I remind myself; Who am I? Me! Where am I? Here! When is it? Now!
And after a few days, the buzzing stops, the exhaustion subsides, and I continue on, making mindful choices with the hope of being the best version of self I can be at this time.
Holding on to the intention of fulfilling my quest and serving the universe as required.
Until the next wave of healing flows,
and the cycle repeats
ever growing, ever flowing, everlasting.
Take my hand
Look into my soul through my eyes
and feel the childlike awe and enthusiasm infuse between us.
Let us skip through the enchanted forest
in search of bread crumbs offered by the universe
so that we might understand another piece of the puzzle on this quest
Dance with me in the moon light
to the beating of our hearts and the swaying of the trees
so that we might feel joy, energized and whole once more.
Pray with me softly yet passionately
So that we might know our Home and our loved ones
are safe and protected
enveloped in the wings of our ancestors and angels always.
The weeding is done
New seeds have been sewn
How long must I wait
For the flowers to grow?
Abundant potentials grow from left of field
My heart impatiently waits for it's yield
The seasons brought chaos
The hard work has been done
Your strength, it inspires
Now...look up! Reach for the sun
Dear one I have missed you
Though you're never alone
Accept my embrace
As I welcome you Home.
As a mother, and a sensitive empath (often taking on energies as physical symptoms), it is priority that I create sacred space to sit, to meditate, create, cleanse, reconnect and sometimes to just do nothing. Be in the nothingness. Clear the mind and reassure self that I am in my own space. That I am safe.
It is all too convenient to slip into the overwhelm, and feel myself being sucked back down the rabbit hole. But, by allowing the space to sit with self, I am consciously able to choose to do the maintenance required to bring about and restore balance.
I often find the compulsion to get creative within this space, either channeling, creative writing, sketching or singing. It is as though my true essence is pulled through space, time and all other dimensions into my consciousness so that there is no alternative but to create. Something heartfelt, something authentic, something bursting with symbols and steeped in ancient magic. It is like being accompanied on an awe inspiring journey, with an old friend.
I share with you in this moment, this piece of creative writing (above) and other glimpses into what lies within my heartself, in the hope that it will inspire you to connect with yours. Today, tomorrow and always. Blessings xxx